Sticky Candy and Prayers

I bought a pregnancy test, apple juice, and a bag of hi-chews
Because I am a child, too
And I was mortified at the thought of two little lines
Let me be clear, my child: I was not afraid of you
I was afraid of myself, because I am not a mother
That doesn’t mean I don’t love you; love the idea of you
But you deserve a whole mother
Not a girl held together by sticky candy and prayers
I can’t take care of you yet
I look down
One little line: you do not exist yet
I am a child again.