“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” – Romans 10:17
She was a wanderer. A wanderer between thoughts at that. She tried, tried it all, she gave her farewell and wished her ‘enemies’ godspeed for the sake of her own peace. Life went dim as if there was no meaning, no sun to peek in through the blinds, no grass growing after the storm, nothing. She scrolled through what gave her life and caused her procrastination. She knew the world owed her no resolution but somehow–someway, that’s all she searched for.
Pondering in the book a life looking for the answer that she longed for in the depths of her text messages. What was it? It was what she desired, so it was all she looked forward to. Patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, not dishonoring, but giving. The book gave… but she couldn’t pursue the answer she wanted, so she neglected it.
The day that book closed, the rain poured with much more power. Her days were filled with sorrow, hatred, resentment… She became a chameleon, changing her colors to match the landscape around her, blending into whatever shape the world asked her to take. The tears that flooded her phone was what the booked craved. She wanted to understand them, while he wanted her to understand him. She lived in a blank space and convinced herself that what she needed didn’t exist, even in the book of life.
She began to cast her own spells–poisoned with denial and forbidden treasure. She felt her breath catch in her throat as the rain began to pour harder, and for a moment, the weight of it all felt unbearable. The questions, the doubts, the search for meaning. But then, just as quickly, a calmness settled over her. Perhaps the answer wasn’t in theories, nor in the certainty of it or them. The storm blew over, her mind flooded with chaos, but the book stood alone.
It caught her eye and ushered her towards it. She slowly opened the forsaken volume but this time she read carefully–with precision. Within the first page, she fell to her knees and invoked to what… whom she had forgotten. All this was created for her: every landmark across the globe, every planet in the universe, every soul on this earth. It was given to her to experience. And felt she no longer remembered them, she no longer desired it, but she fell before him.
